First of all let me warn you #Long post alert
My Husband believes i should be a Faith Guru because before we got married i was attending Covenant Christian Centre and My Pastor was an ardent word of Faith preacher so he looks at me with “wonderment “when i start to act like a stark unbeliever.
First let me give a background story,i am the Queen Mother of Worry…..I worry about everything and anything possible and if you are a “Worry Willy”like me you will know that worrying produces no good result except for unnecessary drama and reactions.
I have a daughter and i am a Doctor so if she has lets say a common cold i enter into my worry mode then couple with the fact that i am a doctor it becomes drama queen mode i start to think about the one hundred and one things that might be wrong.At this point i am already suggesting like a thousand things she must use and that is always the typical story.
This fateful day,I discovered something very minute was wrong with her and as usual i enetered panic mode and from there i entered Google mode (plus my medical knowledge)and started looking for home remedies.I found a simple prescription that will solve the problem so i set out to the pharmacy determined to get the drug and start using it for her.
I also decided not to tell my husband because i knew what he was going to say about my drama.However the problem was that the drug is extremely scarce and i ended up walking the whole of our Local community looking for it.I walked for over an hour checking from pharmacy to pharmacy without success.Eventually i arrived at the last pharmacy i could think of in my area, lo and behold they had one left but it was expired.I felt like crying, the lady must have seen my reaction because she told me she could get for me the next day all i needed to do was to pay in advance.
By the time she said the price, it was wayyyyyy more than what i had so the only option was for me to tell my husband. I left the place promising to come back the next day and then i sent a message to my husband telling him to check pharmacies on his way back from work for the drug because the one i saw in our area was too expensive.
As soon as he got back from work that day and i greeted him , i asked for the drug and then he looked at me in the usual way that suggested i was in trouble and he said something that will never leave me;
“If you cant exercise your faith for something as little as this, then when something bigger happens what will you do”
His statement totally disarmed me…at first i was angry then i became ashamed of myself and just quietly went into the room.While thinking about what he said i heard a quiet voice in my spirit saying” Ok now i have your attention because i have been trying to get it all day but you were bent on having it your way”
All along while i was doing my ultimate search i kept on debating in my mind that maybe i should just go home ,talk to God about it and trust him since it wasnt a big deal anyway but it looked like a Long unsure process and i wanted the short and sure process, so i ignored the prompting of the holyspirit.
I had to repent and asked for forgiveness, then i asked him what i should do and he just told me everything was going to be okay .Everything was eventually okay as she got better without me doing anything.
God is an intentional God, i wrote the first part of this blog earlier this year when my husband was still alive and my baby was smaller.I didn’t know as at that time that God was just preparing me for what was ahead.
She has fallen sick so many times after that all i could do was exercise my faith and trust in God.There was a time she had such a high fever in the middle of the night that the Doctor in me was so sure she was going to have seizures and there was absolutely nothing i could do .All i could do was to carry her on my legs, tepid sponge her and confess the word over her.She eventually did not have any seizures and by the time i got to the hospital the following day ,i looked like a liar because there was no sign of fever and the fever never came back.She was perfectly fine.
The word works wonders and it also strengthen our faith however exercising our faith should not be our last resort but the first and only option.God wants us to trust in him and as we do so, he gives us instructions on what to do about the situation. He loves us and will never leave us but we have to trust him enough to allow him take the driver seat.
Baby is now a big girl.
Love,
YJ
VOICE OF SANITY 