Five years Strong

Hello Everyone,

I know it’s been a while here. It’s really not my fault because life has been happening but I hope to be more consistent now.

As I sat on the train yesterday on my way to work, it just came strongly on my heart that I have to write this post.

Today makes it exactly 5 years that Adeola transited to Glory and one would think that after all this time I should have gotten used to it however I am not sure its a reality I will ever get used to.

I know I have healed on many levels and God is still doing His work in my heart but there is no day I do not wish that he did not die even though I have come to terms with his death.

So its been 5 year and I am sitting here asking myself;

How are you doing Yejide?

To be honest I am mostly fine, I tell my friends and family that I have Joy irrespective of what has happened and this is something I am grateful for. On some days I feel really overwhelmed and there is no day I don’t think about him but on those days God intentionally does something to make me know that He is with me. It can sometimes be someone sending me an encouraging message or someone just calling to check up on me. It happens all the time.

Another hard part of this journey is the fact that I have to be both father and mother to our daughter. I am not sure I can really articulate this aspect in writing because it can be alot especially because Dara is older and is always asking for her daddy. I have told her that her daddy is in heaven and he is not coming back. She knows he loved her and he will always be in our heart but this does not mean she will not ask for him every other day. Sometimes I am patient enough to explain to her, on some days I start to cry and on some days I am just angry but I always remind her that God is our Father too and He will never leave us. Moving to another country has also complicated this single parenting thing on many levels but God is always showing up. The testimony is plenty ohhh. I know God is always good but I think He sometimes overcompensates in this area because the way He usually raise helpers for us is phenomenal. It’s safe to say we have never been stranded, indeed OLUWADARASIMI (God is good to me)

Then there is the Elephant in the room “when will you marry again”. It was difficult for people to ask me this before but now “they no wan gree for me”. I know it’s out of love but it surprises me. People that are really close to me will go through corners. Case in point is my mum that has sent all our family members to me but will rarely say it to me directly 😊😊😊😊😊

In retrospect I think it’s because I had told everybody that cared to listen then that I was never going to marry again after my Astor passed away. I have since stopped saying this because I am in a much better place now but I really wish people will stop asking me when I will get married again. My life has been that of grace and mercy and I know if it is God’s plan for me, it will happen at the appointed time. In the mean time I am just really grateful to God for peace, Joy, happiness and a sound mind.

How do I feel today?

I am filled with so much gratitude to God.

The past five years has been a story of grace and testimony.

God has held my hands, showed up for me in awesome ways that I can’t even describe. Jesus is definitely someone to shout about.

As we go into the sixth year, I am not afraid of what my future holds because I have the one who holds the future. God is not done writing this story that is my life and I excited to follow him on this journey.

In my usual fashion, I have a scripture to rock the sixth year with;

”Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.“
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3‬:‭20‬-‭21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Love and Revelational Light,

YJ