For a very long time, I debated doing a post on Oluwadarasimi’s birthday but as I went through our old pictures on Saturday evening I knew I had to do this.
I cried while writing this post largely because I am just really grateful to God for everything and on this particular occasion for this child. One of the major reasons Dee’s death hit me so hard is because of this child of Grace called Deborah-Grace.
When I look back over the past three years and think about what God has brought us through, I can’t help but be grateful to our Father In Heaven.
This Child that God used to make sure I did not lose my mind after Adeola passed away.
For the first time, during the lockdown I realized how pitiful I must have looked.
I mean this was me, fresh graduate with no source of income, husband gone , leaving me with a 5months old baby.
I don’t even know how I ever thought we will be alright but one thing was sure, I knew I had to man up for the task ahead. Through my grief I knew I had to mother and father this child. I remember going to the toilet in the middle of the night some few days after Dee died and my mother followed me. When I asked her why ? She said it was for security reasons in case I was planning to harm myself. I smiled and told her “if I kill myself, who will take care of our daughter?” That question seemed to be enough for her because she stopped following me to the bathroom.
I remember crying myself to sleep on some night in our room in “Odunlami” during my internship.
I remember masking all my pain with work while still trying to show up for my daughter during the stressful internship.
I remember the first time she was ill and how all I could do in the middle of the night was just to hold on to God and wait for morning to come.
Parenting this child alone has been one of the hardest thing I have done in my life but it has made me stronger. Only my family and close friends will know how hard this has been for me. I realized how hard it was when I almost broke my leg one morning while doing school runs.
God has helped us and that is the only reason I am still standing.
I have cried and laughed, I have been at crossroads, I have felt alone, I have been overwhelmed, there are days I almost gave up on trying but God has stood by us as Another in the fire.
Today, I am so grateful for this child who is a warrior princess, this child that God has used to give me a new sense of purpose, this child that tells me my dress is fine and admires my hair, this child that gives me random hugs, this child that I will raise to love the Lord ( by God’s grace).
If I allow it, Darasimi will be the most spoilt girl in the world even as at now, I think I am still the strictest person in her life.
Indeed we have the strength of many.
The major reason we have made it this far is because of God, so today is all about returning all the glory to Him.
God has also blessed us with an awesome support system, I have the best family members and friends in the whole wide world. You guys are just too much.
I thank God for how far he has brought us but I also look forward to where His grace is taking us to.
I am writing this to encourage someone out there especially single mothers, you do not have to do this on your own. God is ready to lead you on this Journey if you allow Him to.
Finally, this is us……..Yejide and Oluwadarasimi, Made by grace and Backed by God.
Love and Revelational light,
PS: Forgive me if this post is disjointed, I wrote it with so much emotions.