ONE YEAR STRONG

Hello everyone,

Today makes it a year that Dee left this sinful world. To say I miss him is an understatement but like he always say “ONLY GOOD IS GOD”.

This blog post is not about anything deep because I just want to share our love story and hope someone can learn one or two lessons.

I have a first degree in pharmacology from Olabisi Onabanjo University and then because “I like book” , I have another degree from Unilag. While I was in Unilag, I had the opportunity to interact with younger ladies and I saw different perspectives on relationships and marriage. In addition, the devil has launched a mass attack on the marriage institution and I just thought to share my two cents and hope that you can learn one or two things from my story.

I am not a relationship expert neither will I claim to know it all, I can only talk about how God led me to be married to one of his very best.

 

Dee was not perfect but he was a phenomenal husband and father. I am not just saying this because he was my husband but I am sure a lot of people can testify to this.

So lets get into it;

1.LET GOD LEAD YOU

If you are not a born again child of God, this might be strange to you but in the kingdom, this is how we roll. Please don’t let your choice of partner be the first thing God will lead you on however this is probably the most important thing I will say. God is omniscient, He knows your end from the beginning.

He knows your strength, your weakness, your desires, your future, your battles hence He also knows the partner that is your perfect fit. For example, when I wanted to make a choice , Dee was not the only contender (as a baby girl that I am na) but I am always glad I followed God’s leading and Choose him because he was just tailor made for the journey ahead.

We started our relationship when I entered for diploma in Medicine and we both knew it was going to be a long journey. For every exams I wrote, (and there were lots of exam) he was there for me. He never for once complained about the length of my course. My success was his and even my failures became his too.

When I got to the final year of medical school, we both agreed it was best for me to move into the hostel so I could concentrate and pass my qualifying exams at once. He literally became a bachelor again just so I could concentrate on my academics. To now complicate issues, I was also pregnant so even the few times I went home I couldn’t even do anything but sleep and rest. He never complained, infact I will confess that I even over used the privilege but he supported me through it all. When my result finally came out and I passed in flying colors he was overjoyed but I can never claim that it was my success alone because to be honest it was a joint effort.

Before we started our courtship we were just friends and I remember vividly telling him I wanted to go back to study medicine. He encouraged me to follow my dreams and he even encouraged me that I could go abroad for the course. By the following day he had sent me a link of foreign medical schools that offer scholarships. One of the other contenders at the time told me to forget Medicine and just go for masters but MY ASTOR encouraged me to go for it.

You will agree with me that only God’s leading could have done this because by the eyes of flesh at that time he was my least choice. I can go on and on but I will stop here because I know I have driven the point home.LET THE LORD LEAD YOU.

2) DON’T LOOK AT THE OUTWARD APPEARANCE

I cant emphasize this enough, looks are very deceiving and so is economic status. By all means , please no one should be irresponsible about getting married. Plan for it plus there has to be some financial stability but don’t let looks, money and the bling be your deciding factor.

When we first met, Dee’s salary was N30,000 however one thing was clear, he was madly in love with me and he was also crazy about God. Infact he didn’t look like it at all, he didn’t even have a car.

I remember how we will sit at the amphitheater in Unilag and talk about our future hinging it on God and his N30,000 salary. The money was small however he was still ready to share it with me. He felt he should be able to give me money as my fiancé. So I knew if he could share his little with me, he will one day share his billions with me. He is still one of the most generous person I know. Always willing to give.

He didn’t have money at that time but he had a heart for God and so I knew he was the real deal. He didnt have a car but he was always willing to come and check on me even if I was in the hole of the ground.I remember when we went for our prewedding photoshoot, we were running late so we had to take a cab there. After the shoot we had to trek for a while before boarding a bus since we spent so much on the cab.We were laughing and playing and I remember telling him that he had “jazzed” me. We were just so happy that we were finally getting married.

We courted for 5 years and we were married for almost 3 years and there was never a day I doubted his love for me neither did we have any infidelity issue. I see a lot of people compromise trust and peace of mind for good looks and money however one thing I am sure of is that it’s not worth it.

Helper of life

You need a partner that loves God then every other thing will be added. The balance to this is also not to choose someone that is irresponsible.

After I delivered my daughter I started singing that I wanted an iPhone. We had just done some major spending so I knew we might not be able to afford it .It was more of a wishful thinking. The phone I was using at that time was still in good shape however Dee’s phone was in a state of anarchy so I told him that he should get a phone for himself first then we can think of buying my own iphone. Some few weeks later, my husband decided to surprise with an iphone just like I wanted.

I was so overwhelmed and I remember asking him why he didn’t buy a phone for himself instead and he told me he never bought a gift for me after I delivered and he also didn’t buy me anything for my induction. We didn’t have so much money but we were happy and I knew the money was going to come it was just a matter of time. He didn’t look like it at first but he ended up being more than enough. Never despise the days of little beginnings Darasimi Loading…..

Ps: Some people have good looks, money and still have a heart for God. Whatever the case might be don’t let the outward appearance be your deciding factor.

3)PURPOSE IS IMPORTANT

I can’t even overemphasize this, please have an idea of what God wants you to do with your life before getting married. It will make your journey easy.

Dee was so clear about his from day one, it even influenced the location for our home after marriage.

Being married to him had to be one of the most humbling experience for me. From day one he was always clear about his passion for teenagers and young people.

That was his life and so our home was always opened to them. At first it was challenging for me because I wanted my husband to myself alone but he was too loaded for that. Having them around made him happy and their problem was also his.

Many times, my husband would shed tears if any of them was going astray or if any of them had issues. God expanded my heart during the course of our living together and I learnt that my life was just not for me to live.

Dee pushed me , encouraged me , infact he kept on ringing it in my ears that there is more to me than just being Mrs Okungbaye.

Dee pushed me , encouraged me , infact he kept on ringing it in my ears that there is more to me than just being Mrs Okungbaye.

Whenever God puts an idea in my heart, my husband will never let me rest oh. He was my sounding board, accountability partner and strategy partner.

He died an empty man because even till the last breathe he remained selfless.

Choose a partner that will walk on your purpose journey with you. There were days we would give out all we had just for a child to write exams and I saw God provide for all our needs through different means. Even in his death, God has kept Darasimi and I.

For every hurdle I had to cross, God expanded my capacity and made his purpose clearer to us.

At Great Light Ministry retreat.

There are lots of stories to share but I will stop here trusting that God will use this post to reach out to someone.

Our marriage was not perfect but it was beautiful, we had our down times but every problem brought us closer.

Please don’t allow the society poison your mind about marriage.

NOT ALL MEN ARE SCUM AND NOT ALL WOMEN ARE PROMISCUOUS. There are still good people out there.

I will also like to say a big thank you to everyone that has checked on us and supported us this past year. God bless you and yours.

Love and Revelational light,

Yj